On St. Patrick’s Day, 17 Reasons to Purchase Dinty Moore’s New Book, Between Panic & Desire

By Kate Flaherty

1. Because at a zippy 140 pages, Dinty provides his readers with all of the angst and none of the bloating.

2. Because Dinty finally explains in full the origins of his name in all its Dinty-ness.

3. Because even his index is funny (Goo goo ga joob, 64).

4. Because his author’s note is even funnier.

5. Because the book is like therapy, only cheaper. (“When you stop beating your head against the wall, your head miraculously feels better.”)

6. Because Tricia Nixon makes a cameo appearance as a 1-900 psychic.

7. Because it includes Gene Simmons vs. Terry Gross, redux, as only Dinty can do.

8. Because Dinty manages to be an unflinching observer without being preachy.

9. Because not being preachy doesn’ t mean Dinty lets us off easy.

10. Because Dinty’s not afraid to admit he used to look a little like John Hinckley.

11. Because Dinty’s not afraid to admit he loved TV.

12. Because Dinty makes trivia less trivial. And he includes quizzes! Multiple choice!

13. Because Dinty juggles brutal honesty with humor and forgiveness.

14. Because Dinty also juggles sex, drugs, and rock and roll with a unique Midwestern flair.

15. Because Panic & Desire is shorter than War & Peace.

16. Because Panic & Desire has all the witty banter of Pride & Prejudice with none of the corseted outfits.

17. Because Panic & Desire is the new, and most apt, dichotomy for the twenty-first century. And it even has what could be described as a pretty happy ending. And we really need one. So thank God. Or Bhudda. Or Dinty.

Kate Flaherty, a fiction writer and essayist, is the former managing editor of Prairie Schooner.