Off the Shelf: Dream of Reason by Rosa Chacel

Chacel Read from Dream of Reason byRosa Chacel, translated by Carol Maier:

"In the spring of 1932 about two years had passed since I returned from Europe. My absence had lasted almost as long as my entire life—when I left Buenos Aires I was only a few months old. Even so, even though that period was not clear in my mind, the idea that I had been here was always with me. The idea? Why not the memory? A memory is passed on, inherited, adopted. Yes, I always remembered having been here and always felt certain I would return. I knew I’d return to the city and the house where I’d been born, knew what the furniture was like in that house, and everything I did when I was very young—the trips and studies—was something I started so as to have it done with before I returned. Then once I was here, it was a question of recovering things, not of becoming acquainted with them.

I don’t know if that initial premise has determined the way I am, because, the thing is, even in other, completely unfamiliar cities it’s always seemed that I was searching for my own footsteps.

But this is already thoughts, reflections, and what I’ve proposed is to make that time, that naturalness, which was so comfortable, present now. I was a boy from Buenos Aires who studied and lived like any other boy, except I had a history. It was a history completely forgotten, not with the unfaithful kind of forgetting that tosses everything overboard, but with a forgetting that had come to be like a state of some body—mine: I had solidified in a body, but all the fluid things composing it were circulating within its tranquil mass, releasing their waves, their currents.

No, no, that’s not it! I simply lived on Juncal and studied chemistry. I lived alone, and I had few friends; my only close friend was Javier Molina, a distant relative. I didn’t have much family.

The first signs of spring had appeared, which had happened other years, but this is about that spring, the spring of 1932. It was late August, and I remember thinking about spring as I crossed the Plaza San Martín. It was beginning to get dark, and a wonderful light seemed to be walking across the grass. Dusk is so short here you can watch it go past. A warm breeze goes by, the sky, very clean and pearly, gives off a bleak light, which slips away toward the trees to hide in the branches, and suddenly, in the shadow of the trees, there’s the glow of a newly lit streetlamp: dusk is gone. At that moment I bought Crítica and continued toward Santa Fe.

Why did I buy Crítica as I was contemplating the plaza? It’s quite unusual for me to read a newspaper, but a kid came up to me, insistently waving a paper. It’s highly unusual for me not to dispatch someone rudely if he happens to interrupt me at such a moment, because I was truly contemplating the plaza. I was standing on a corner, waiting to cross, but I’d hesitated there on the green slope, since I wasn’t in a hurry, and the kid came up to me, shouting right beside me: "Crítica!Crítica!" His shouts didn’t bother me or annoy me, which is how I usually react to any kind of shouting. I let it become part of my contemplation and looked at the boy. I think it was to apologize for my lingering gaze that I took out a few coins and bought the paper. Then, when I reached the La Santa Unión I went into the café, sat down, and started leafing through the paper.

On the cultural page there was a long article about the Ballet Montecarlo. I was skimming it quickly, when suddenly I saw one name: Elfriede Pabst. I read closely and learned that Elfriede Pabst was one of the secondary figures in the troupe, which would arrive that week in Montevideo.

From that moment on I can no longer recount the events step by step, nor is that necessary. The name Elfriede Pabst appeared in the August twilight, fifteen minutes after I stood on a corner thinking about spring. I kept myself very busy that whole week, since I could hardly set out right on the spot."

Rosa Chacel (1898–1994), one of the most promising pre-Civil War writers, was “rediscovered” in her native Spain after returning to Madrid from an exile of more than three decades. In addition to La sinrazón, her many works include Teresa, Memorias de Leticia Valle, and Barrio de Maravillas (The Maravillas District, Nebraska 1992).
 
Carol Maier also translated Chacel’s Memoirs of Leticia Valle (Nebraska 1994), for which she won the Modern Language Association’s Aldo and Jeanne Scaglione Prize for a translation of a literary work, and the Eugene Kayden Translation Competition’s Meritorious Achievement Award.
 

 

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